epigone

yes, i know, my writing leaves a lot to be desired. i ‘ll admit, i’m holding back a bit. i don’t know exactly how to express myself, even if it’s just to Mike Harmon and the others who have happened upon this place because they saw some recipe in a google link….

this has been my curse. i’m great at talking, i suck at expressing. i’m never going to be a poet. i’m never going to write the great american novel. i can make up stories, but they usually end up with no emotion. kind of like real life for me. i have the emotions. i can feel them, even act with and upon them, but when it comes to expression….. i’m no cassinova. i’m no Cyrano de Bergerac…hell, i couldn’t even make the part of Christian work in my life. but i want to be able to be the one who’s totally romantic at the drop of a hat and has the words to express what i feel at that moment.

why is this coming out? well, i want to be able to say things to my wife to make her understand just how things are and should be, but all that comes out is the straight truth. which is exactly what needs to be said, but is oh-so-fucking-unromantic. i’m sure i sound like the doctor telling her about her recent vaginal exam. all cold and clinical, stating the facts and not exciting her at all. maybe i need a class on smoothness or hypnosis to bring out the inner Cyrano. i’ve always been this romantically hopeless…i think since high school. i used to write notes and letters, my wife (at the time, she was an on-off-again girlfriend through senior year) used to find those, she still gives me shit about how i used to do that. but it was all foolish shit i would say, i don’t remember it ever being romantic…. *sigh*

yes, i just emoted. kinda like farting in a room with your girlfriend for the first time eh? 41 posts prior, and i finally cut one. well, now that i got that out of my system, i’m gonna go and see if i can buy a copy of Roxanne or Cyrano somewhere….

-e